• TheConfused Father

How Did I Get Here

When one finds themselves in an unexpected place in life, they often look back and wonder "How did I get here." I have been writing here for almost half a year now and my tag line for the first half of those posts was "How did I get here." As much as this must have sounded like a metaphorical question to the people reading this, as the one writing it every week it was a sincere quandary. To understand what I mean by that I will have to roll some things back for you, some of which I have written about before and some I have not.

Yesterday marked the 5-year anniversary of when I graduated from Kansas State University with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Before graduation, students were required to meet with our advisor for an exit interview. During that interview, I can clearly remember my advisor asking me where I saw myself in 5-years. At the time I had been married to Erin for just under a year and we were trying to start a family. The two of us had just bought the piece of ground we are currently building our house on. I had already started working in the position I am currently in part-time before graduating. Honestly, I pretty much hit my current life position on the head making my guess back then. "But wait" you are probably saying now, "I thought you didn't understand how you got here." Well, the truth of that statement is I don't know how I got here. I am exactly where I wanted to be 5 years ago but things could not have gone more differently from how I was planning for them to go.

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." ~ Allen Saunders

Six and a half months after my exit interview I sat in a hospital for a week and watched my wife take infusions of low dosage chemotherapy. In those moments I doubted that I would ever be a father. It was largely unknown to me what the side effects of the treatment would be and if Erin would recover to the point that we were comfortable having children. My doubts were shattered by her miraculous recovery and we immediately dove deep into the adoption process hoping to jumpstart our family while we waited for her to detox from the chemo. Four months after her last dose we were holding a beautiful little baby girl that we would be blessed to raise as our own. Five years ago I had never even considered adoption yet here I sit today the father of not just one, but three amazing little adopted children.

Adoption is expensive though, so surely our house plans would be put on hold, right? We bought this property as I was in my last semester in order to start building equity in our own home instead of our current landlord's property. I happened to know someone who was wanting to sell a trailer house and the math worked out to where our mortgage payment on the property and the house was less than our rent in town. We were estimating that with both of us working and no unexpected expenses we could build around 5 years after moving out here. Well, let me tell you adoption is an unexpected expense. Over $60,000 later we had three children and were plenty happy to live in the trailer house a few more years in exchange for them. However, the unexpected was still to come when my father and I were approached early this year by someone interested in purchasing the company that he had worked so hard to build up over the previous 20 years.

I had been buying a small number of shares from him with any extra money we happened across in the 5 years I worked there with the hope that I would someday be able to run it in his stead. That being said we had worked with the purchasing company before and they were good people. The price was right and we sold the business in July of this year. While my dream of owning my father's company disappeared, I got to keep my old job and we suddenly had the capital to put us back on schedule for building our house. We are on schedule to move to the new building next summer if everything thing continues to go well.

In short, I am where I wanted to be. I have been blessed with many children, through means that I could have never anticipated. I have the job I have always wanted, just for a company I was never planning to work for. We are building the house we have been dreaming of for 5 years, but only learned we could afford it 6 months prior to construction starting. All of these realizations were hitting me hard in July since we sold the business, broke ground on the house, and celebrated Sebsatians' first birthday all in that one month. It was probably the most confusing month of my entire life which is not a mild statement to make. I started writing to help cope with the things going on around me and sort out what was really going on, hence the website name. I have enjoyed these last 6 months and am looking forward to the coming year and all the unexpected things to come.

I hope this message has found you in good health and of a sound mind. I am just another confused father telling you... That is how I got here.

Thank you for reading.


Recent Posts

See All