• TheConfused Father

Quarterly Team Building

Updated: Oct 18, 2020


Men and women are cut from different kinds of cloth. Or maybe not even both cloth. Like silk and rocks. We have all heard that boys are from Jupiter and girls are from Venus or whatever and if you haven't you obviously didn't go to public school. The natural differences between men and women make for some wonderful synergies when applied in the right combinations. My wife is the perfect counterpart to me. I don't like doing laundry, she doesn't like doing the dishes. We are both capable of doing both but why would we when we have someone else living in the same house who is much more willing to do it. My wife is a builder, as anyone who has been reading these posts long can tell. I am not, I have tried it doesn't come out well. But I am good at making plans and revising other peoples. The way most of our projects go is something like this:


Erin: I want to build X for Y reason.

Josh: Alright, I need a plan and a budget.

Erin: Done and here.

Josh: Did you take variables A, B, C into account?

Erin: Ohh, I didn't think about C. Will adjust for that. Thank you.

Josh: Your welcome, your budget is approved plus 10% for unexpected problems.

Erin: Awesome (immediately heads to store to buy materials)

(That was simplified a little but not as much as you would think)


Then I hold things for her and check on the project to make sure there aren't errors as she moves along. When I see a mistake I point it out and she fixes it. Most of you are going to say "ya right" but that is how we work well together. We understand the role that the other brings to the table and the weaknesses that we have. But as well as we work together, there are some things that my wife (like most wives) does not enjoy doing with me. Watching stupid movies, playing versus video games (she is more of a co-op fan), and a nice 6 hour long game of Risk (I honestly have never met a girl that enjoyed Risk).


When it comes to these things, you need a day with the guys. It is healthy for men to get out with their fellow men and be men every once and a while. I have three good friends from college that I try to meet up with 4 times a year. About every three months, we try to get together and catch up and hang out. We play video games, board games, watch dumb movies, drink way too much soda, and tell stupid jokes. Since we are adults and a sleepover sounds a little too childish, we have taken to calling it Quarterly Team Building. James is usually our host and coordinator so we have taken to calling him the CEO of our little fictional company. He sends out emails under this title making plans for when we can all make it and what the agenda is. The rest of us reply with whatever title we have made up for ourselves for the day (VP. Secretary, Treasurer, ETC) and it makes for some fun interactions leading up to the event. Upon arrival we catch up while having a meal, someone will make a presentation in a business-like manner making fun of one of the other members of the group (I am the 2nd quarter presenter), we approve the minutes from the last meeting, then start the weekend out with whatever new board game James has found for us to play. Have you ever played Twilight Imperium? It is like a crossover between Risk and Settlers of Catan with a pinch of Magic the Gathering. The simple tutorial video takes 90 minutes and one game took us 8 and a half hours to play! Highly recommend it!

We have all grown in different directions since college but it is always a lot of fun catching up. It gets harder every year to find the right time as we all develop more and more time commitments in our regular lives. Joe H. got a job as a police officer earlier this year which means his weekend is now from Tuesday and Wednesday. Prior to that Joe T (Yes we have two people named Joe in our group) was working night shifts which meant his weekend started at 3 am Saturday morning, but he got a day job late last year and is much happier about it. We have overcome these small obstacles and I really hope we can keep doing this for a long time.


Getting away is important once and a while. It is a fun weekend and that is great, but it also gives me a lot of time to reflect on the things that I have in a unique way. Looking at the guys and listening to how they live makes me really appreciate what I have and how Erin and I live. I know too many people that look at other people's lives and wish that theirs could be more that way. And honestly, interacting with the guys can be like that every once and a while. But when you sit down and actually talk to someone, it doesn't matter who it is, you very quickly start to see the struggles they have in their own lives as well.


People don't get on social media and show off the negative things in their lives (well some do but they are a whole different story), and that makes it really easy to forget that behind that perfect family picture, vacation video, or selfie was a lot of effort that they are trying not to show. Nobody's life is perfect, be grateful for what you have and live in the moment. I know that I struggle to remember that a lot but I promise to work on it if you do.


I hope this message finds you in good health and of a sound mind. I am just another confused father from Kansas wondering...


How did I get here?

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