• TheConfused Father

Why we call them doublets

So our boys were born 7 weeks apart to the day. We all always wanted twins so as far as adoptions go we considered this a win. In a lot of ways, Simon and Sebastian are like twins. They take their naps together, they eat their meals together, they get their diapers changed at the same time and in general are a lot happier when they are together. If set on separate sides of the room, they will crawl to each other before beginning to play, even though it usually ends up in one pushing the other over and pulling his hair. Talking to other parents who have twins they behave very much like natural born brothers. But there are definitely some ways that they are different than twins, that is why we call them our doublets.

The first thing we noticed was sleeping. During pregnancy, the movement of a mother throughout the day helps keep the baby asleep and the baby moves around more at night. This results in the baby have a predisposition towards being asleep in the day and awake at night at birth. Overcoming this preset sleep schedule takes between 5 and 10 weeks on average. This is usually one of the hardest periods for parents just because it throws off the natural rhythm by which we operate. Sebastian took right around 6 weeks to "break-in", which was awesome. I have a very clear memory of the night Simon was born, Erin stayed at the hospital with him and his birth mom. Meanwhile, I took Sebastian home to try to let him sleep in a familiar environment since Simons's birth was fairly close to home. When I got home it was around 11:30 so I fed and changed Sebastian and laid him back down, promptly passing out myself. He woke up for another feeding around 4 am, then slept straight through till 7:30 when I woke up to head back to the hospital. A night with only one wake up call was an amazing thing to me at the time and very short-lived. Simon would come home two days later and we would start the whole process over. There was even a period of time shortly after, where the two of them would stagger their nightly waking so that one at least one of them was almost always awake during the night. I honestly don't know how we survived that. For the first few months other than sleep-wise the main differences were really bottle volumes, diaper sizes, clothes size (Which was nice because we only needed one set of clothes, but frustrating because it always seemed like you grabbed the wrong onesie.) and development. That was the other big one. As a parent, you quickly begin to think of them as being the same age in the back of your mind. This is only a problem when you start comparing their developmental stages. It became very easy to get frustrated with Simon because he was not where Sebastion was developmentally. But these differences are fewer and fewer all the time as we rapidly approach, 10 days till, Sebastian's first birthday. Mostly down to size and developmental differences, which you could very much still have in natural-born twins. Simon has passed Sebastian developmentally, being able to stand himself up on things while Sebastian still just crawls around. Sebastion is still a fair bit larger than Simon but based on the size of their respective birth parents, he probably always will be.

But more on that as they grow up together. I hope this post finds you in good health and of sound mind. I am just another confused father from Kansas wondering...

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